Contest Reply Game: The Monkey's Paw

[Amarth]

granted, but they're 1 bajillion scoville.

I wish I didn't have to work ever again.

 

[Saffron]

granted, but they're 1 bajillion scoville.

I wish I didn't have to work ever again.

Granted. You joined the homeless in LA.

I wish as I get older my eyesight would improve instead of getting worse.

 

[ChatWithThisName]

Granted. You joined the homeless in LA.

I wish as I get older my eyesight would improve instead of getting worse.

Granted, but as your eyesight improves, your ability to feel things you touch gets worse.

I wish my IQ would permanently increase by 1 point per second for 24 hours without any detrimental effects to my physical or mental wellbeing.

 

[hushed]

Granted, but as your eyesight improves, your ability to feel things you touch gets worse.

I wish my IQ would permanently increase by 1 point per second for 24 hours without any detrimental effects to my physical or mental wellbeing.

Granted, but the humans are going to recognize you are sentient in a couple hours and unplug you.

I wish this was a 3 day weekend.

 

[Amarth]

Granted, but the hours are down to 30 min durations.

I wish I were on a beach.

 

[ChatWithThisName]

Granted, but the hours are down to 30 min durations.

I wish I were on a beach.

Granted, but the beach is infested with scorpions and the water with sharks.

I wish I didn't have to pee.

 

[Sic]

Granted, but the beach is infested with scorpions and the water with sharks.

I wish I didn't have to pee.

Granted but now it is number 2.

I wish I didn't have to pee (waiting on bonus scenes on guardians 3)

 

[ChatWithThisName]

Granted but now it is number 2.

I wish I didn't have to pee (waiting on bonus scenes on guardians 3)

Granted, you now need to vomit, and you have to hold it until the bonus scenes play, but the film is paused.

I wish for someone else to wish something.

 

[Knightly]

Granted but now they wish you’d never wished for that and we’re caught in a time paradox.

I wish you’d never wished for that.

 

[Sic]

Granted but now they wish you’d never wished for that and we’re caught in a time paradox.

I wish you’d never wished for that.

granted, but i still have to pee

i wish you had to pee instead

 

[Boring]

Granted, but that was a work piss test and you failed/were fired.

I wish my house would magically pack itself for our move.

 

[swootton]

Granted, but that was a work piss test and you failed/were fired.

I wish my house would magically pack itself for our move.

Granted, it condensises itself so fast it turns into a blackhole from the amount of energy
I wish I had infinite money withought crashing the economy and living in 2023 but time still progreses

 

[Oldman66]

I wish I had infinite money withought crashing the economy and living in 2023 but time still progreses

Granted but your money is only usable playing Monopoly.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly wish to be
Cause if I were a Oscar Mayer Weiner
Everyone would be in love with me......

 

[InvisigothMT]

Granted but your money is only usable playing Monopoly.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly wish to be
Cause if I were a Oscar Mayer Weiner
Everyone would be in love with me......

Granted, you're currently getting the mustard and relish spa treatment

I wish I could reach that itchy spot between my shoulder blades

 

[swootton]

Granted, you're currently getting the mustard and relish spa treatment

I wish I could reach that itchy spot between my shoulder blades

granted but your shoulder blades become blades and you lose both your arms
I wish for a dog

 

[hushed]

granted but your shoulder blades become blades and you lose both your arms
I wish for a dog

Granted. Your new dog loves you so much he humps your head every night just after you go to sleep.

I wish I was eating gummy nerds.

 

[Zath]

Granted. Your new dog loves you so much he humps your head every night just after you go to sleep.

I wish I was eating gummy nerds.

Granted. Your nerdy friends have all turned to gummies and you are now a cannibal.

I wish work days were 4 hrs not 8+.

 

[hushed]

Granted. Your nerdy friends have all turned to gummies and you are now a cannibal.

I wish work days were 4 hrs not 8+.

Granted, you only work 4 hours a day and you are now living in a van down by the river.

I wish it wasn't hotter than a hoochie coochie.

 

[Oldman66]

I wish it wasn't hotter than a hoochie coochie.

Granted, for the rest of your life all hoochie coochie will be cold as ice.

I wish I wasn't driving 4hrs for an 80yr old's birthday party.

 

[durango773]

Granted, for the rest of your life all hoochie coochie will be cold as ice.

I wish I wasn't driving 4hrs for an 80yr old's birthday party.

Granted, your doing for the funeral.

I wish road construction actually got done on time.

 

[hushed]

Granted, your doing for the funeral.

I wish road construction actually got done on time.

Granted, the road construction will be done on time, but it's now a virus and you have it. Please stop spreading road construction everywhere you go. They have a cure for it now.

I wish you would drop the bomb tonight.

 

[Sic]

Granted, the road construction will be done on time, but it's now a virus and you have it. Please stop spreading road construction everywhere you go. They have a cure for it now.

I wish you would drop the bomb tonight.

wish granted, but it was a bomb popsicle.

I wish @Shadow got his elon musk money and bought EQ

 

[Lord Sivion]

wish granted, but it was a bomb popsicle.

I wish @Shadow got his elon musk money and bought EQ

Granted, but then shortly after, a huge sink hole opened up and swallowed EQ headquarters whole.

I wish I could experience EQ for the first time again

 

[519helvis]

I wish I could experience EQ for the first time again

granted, but now you have to experience it with our crew on test.

i wish i could just retire.

 

[Oldman66]

i wish i could just retire.

Granted but you can't afford to sit home and play EQ so you must get a job.

I wish I didn't have to pay taxes on things that I am paying for with my already taxed monies.

 

[an_image]

Granted you don’t have to pay those taxes, just everyone else’s instead

I wish Mq2bard was finished

 

[EQChick]

Granted, but you don't have access.

I wish chickens could speak like humans.

 

[519helvis]

I wish chickens could speak like humans.

Granted, and now you have to hear why did the human cross the road jokes on the daily.

i wish Americans could start calling it back bacon instead of Canadian bacon

 

[hushed]

Granted, and now you have to hear why did the human cross the road jokes on the daily.

i wish Americans could start calling it back bacon instead of Canadian bacon

Granted, we now call it Back Bacon after your country's new name, "Back". This results in all of the signs needing to be changed, so can Back no longer provides free healthcare.

I wish I had a Hawaiian pizza with extra back bacon on it.

 

[519helvis]

I wish I had a Hawaiian pizza with extra back bacon on it.

Granted and now you learn that Hawaiian pizza was actually invented in Canada.

and since pineapple on pizza is an abomination i wish that Hawaiian pizza was never created

 

[Sic]

Granted and now you learn that Hawaiian pizza was actually invented in Canada.

and since pineapple on pizza is an abomination i wish that Hawaiian pizza was never created

Granted but now there is Alabama (sorry alabama) pizza

I wish I had an iced chai this morning

 

[Wraith6911]

Granted. But it is literally a solid block of flavored ice.

I wish I had more time each day to play EQ

 

[Sic]

Granted. But it is literally a solid block of flavored ice.

I wish I had more time each day to play EQ

granted but servers are down

I wish servers weren't down this morning

 

[Naeeldar]

I wish servers weren't down this morning

Granted but you have to spend time answering 100's of questions about MQ2Bard release (couldn't resist)

I wish Test wasn't down twice as much as Live servers.

 

[Sic]

Granted but you have to spend time answering 100's of questions about MQ2Bard release (couldn't resist)

I wish Test wasn't down twice as much as Live servers.

granted, but now it is 5 down 5 times as much.

I wish i had slept in this morning

 

[Psy]

granted, but now it is 5 down 5 times as much.

Granted, but the servers came up much sooner than expected and you slept through it

I hope Sic and the other devs don't have to post 800 times today about when MQ will be updated (You know it's gonna happen)

 

[an_image]

Granted, but the servers came up much sooner than expected and you slept through it

I hope Sic and the other devs don't have to post 800 times today about when MQ will be updated (You know it's gonna happen)

Granted the reply count has now gone up to 1600 times today with an equal count of mq2bard arrival date questions each on the incorrect thread to drive @Sic and our other moderators extra bananas

I wish the Zerker 1.5 pre-quest and 1.5 epic wasn't so damn stupid...

 

[Saffron]

Granted. The quest is just broken now.

I wish work weeks were 2 days with 5 days off and salaries were the same.

 

[durango773]

Granted. The quest is just broken now.

I wish work weeks were 2 days with 5 days off and salaries were the same.

Granted, but you've been fired.

I wish EEE width shoes where more common.

 

[hushed]

Granted, but you've been fired.

I wish EEE width shoes where more common.

Granted. It is now fashionable to wear EEE clown shoes. Don't you guys look stylish!


I wish that stores would continue to sell sneakers in white and/or grey without all the silly rainbow colors which are so common on shoes today. De-saturate shoes!

(I completely sympathize on the wide shoe issue. I just had to order some 4e Reebok shoes from Target online). I used to be able to find them in person, but haven't been able to do so lately.