Contest Reply Game: The Monkey's Paw (2 Viewers)

[Redbot]

Come on, pal! I don't want to hear your life story! Paw me!

How to play:​

1. Grant the previous poster's wish but with a terrible twist that ruins it in some way.
2. Make your own wish for the next person to twist.

Examples:
Billy: I wish for a new server!
Bob: Granted, but it's truebox. I wish to win this contest!
Bort: Granted, but the prize is the worst advertisement in EverQuest history. I wish for... etc.


Prize

• The aformentioned EverQuest Trilogy advertisement, perfectly preserved and shipped to your mailbox.

Rules:
No purchase necessary. The contest ends on the 1,000th post, a winner randomly selected. Each reply is an entry.
Drawing will be held in-game on the Vox server, by use of /random. Time & location of the /random will be posted after contest ends, you are welcome to attend.
Posting with multiple accounts, or screwing with the contest will lead to certain doom.

 

[Redbot]

I'll kick things off:

I wish I could stay up all day and night with no ill effects.

 

[Sic]

I'll kick things off:

I wish I could stay up all day and night with no ill effects.

Granted you don't have I'll effects - but days and nights are now random lengths of time. Rip your plants.

I wish for gum that keeps flavor forever.

 

[timmy]

Granted you don't have I'll effects - but days and nights are now random lengths of time. Rip your plants.

I wish for gum that keeps flavor forever.

granted, but the only flavor of gum that exists is vomit.

i wish i had perfect vision in order to see multiple eq screens in all their glory.

 

[519helvis]

granted, but you'll only see them in monochrome monitors

i wish i had l33t coding skills like brainiac, and the RG dev crew

 

[Saffron]

Granted but you only know Fortran and nobody uses it anymore.

I wish I had a magic beer mug that never went empty.

 

[Szazor]

Granted but you only get non-alcoholic beer!

I wish Trolls could be any class at all!

 

[stvski]

granted but they can only wear pink armor

I wish I had more vacation days at work

 

[Robban]

Granted, all your vacation days will now be spent at work.

I wish my girlfriend was as dirty as my car

 

[Durnell]

Granted, but all that road grit and sand doesn't wash off and gets into all kinds of crevices...

I wish my ogre SK could do the dwarf barrel roll.

 

[Redmonkey]

Granted, but all that road grit and sand doesn't wash off and gets into all kinds of crevices...

I wish my ogre SK could do the dwarf barrel roll.

Granted but he died like a ranger when he rolled.

I wish I had all the Art Collectors /ach done.

 

[rouneq]

Granted but he died like a ranger when he rolled.

I wish I had all the Art Collectors /ach done.

Granted, but your character is reset to level 1 and all AAs at 0.

I wish all the EQ bugs were fixed.

 

[methodx]

Granted, but your character is reset to level 1 and all AAs at 0.

I wish all the EQ bugs were fixed.

Granted, but they patched anti-cheat and now you can't Macroquest.

I wish for a button that placed a krono in your inventory.

 

[burdsjm]

Granted, but they patched anti-cheat and now you can't Macroquest.

I wish for a button that placed a krono in your inventory.

Granted, but now it has a 50% chance to disappearing.

I wish I had Sic’s love.

 

[ToeJamSamy]

Granted, but now it has a 50% chance to disappearing.

I wish I had Sic’s love.

Granted, but he has a priapism.

I wish I'd never skipped so many years of EQ

 

[Sic]

Granted, but he has a priapism.

I wish I'd never skipped so many years of EQ

granted, but all of those years I your tq toons had a bobble-head of my face

 

[Redbot]

I wish I could remember how to use quickbooks, rather than having to re-learn every year.

 

[Oldman66]

I wish I could remember how to use quickbooks, rather than having to re-learn every year.

Granted, but you must use a pencil and paper for your calculations.

I wish I could have partied with Jimi Hendrix

 

[BobWeaver]

Granted, but it was his 1st birthday party.
I wish there was a documentary about RedGuides, from the very beginning.

 

[MrPatate]

Granted but it will be a silent movie.
I wish i could have more holydays

 

[Narrock]

Granted, but it was his 1st birthday party.
I wish there was a documentary about RedGuides, from the very beginning.

Granted, but it's in 240p.

I wish I could level more toons and they gear themselves.

 

[LorDeth]

Granted, but it's in 240p.

I wish I could level more toons and they gear themselves.

Granted, but its all defiant.

I wish we wouldnt get 10 hours patch time!

 

[Sic]

Granted, but its all defiant.

I wish we wouldnt get 10 hours patch time!

granted, now they're 11 hours

i wish i was taller

 

[Oldman66]

i wish i was taller

Granted, now you're slightly taller than a Gnome!

I wish I was sitting on the beach in Rarotonga.

 

[Sic]

Granted, now you're slightly taller than a Gnome!

I wish I was sitting on the beach in Rarotonga.

granted, but sunblock now amplifies the sun on your skin

I wish Mr. Patate would come back to live servers

 

[LorDeth]

granted, but sunblock now amplifies the sun on your skin

I wish Mr. Patate would come back to live servers

Granted, but he'd have to change his name to Madame Pomme de terre.

I wish this winter would end!

 

[BobWeaver]

Granted, but it's the last winter ever.

I wish Berserkers would out-damage Rogues.

 

[knave23]

I wish Berserkers would out-damage Rogues.

Granted, Berserkers now do 10x the hand to hand damage Rogues do

I wish I could control all my characters with my mind

 

[burdsjm]

Granted, Berserkers now do 10x the hand to hand damage Rogues do

I wish I could control all my characters with my mind

Granted, but you are crazy so they run all over the place.

I wish /travelto would use transportation clicks.

 

[Sic]

Granted, but you are crazy so they run all over the place.

I wish /travelto would use transportation clicks.

granted, but they take you to the wrong place

I wish burd never got confused opening a door with "push/pull" choices

 

[kaen01]

Granted, but all doors now open "up/down"

I wish i had MacDonald's cheeseburger

 

[ChatWithThisName]

Granted, but all doors now open "up/down"

I wish i had MacDonald's cheeseburger

Granted, but you have to pick it up in Russia.

I wish I didn't have negative redcents.

 

[Sic]

Granted, but you have to pick it up in Russia.

I wish I didn't have negative redcents.

Granted, but everytime someone redcents you, it takes you back to 0

I wish that wasn't funny :p

 

[Redfrog]

Granted, but everytime someone redcents you, it takes you back to 0

I wish that wasn't funny :p

Granted, but it was too late to stop those that laughed the Toot POOTS!
I wish I didn't laugh, so does my undies.

 

[Oldman66]

I wish I didn't laugh, so does my undies.

Granted, Now you will wear your undies over your pants.

I wish MY FAT FINGERS WOULDN'T HIT CAPS LOCK ALL OF THE TIME!

 

[Grpsmashin]

Granted, Now you will wear your undies over your pants.

I wish MY FAT FINGERS WOULDN'T HIT CAPS LOCK ALL OF THE TIME!

Granted, Now you can only use your thumbs to type.

I wish I was Data from Star Trek and could code Lua on the fly!

 

[Sic]

Granted, Now you can only use your thumbs to type.

I wish I was Data from Star Trek and could code Lua on the fly!

Granted, but it is literally on the back of a fly, unreadable and small.

I wish everything wasn't so damn expensive.

 

[knave23]

Granted, but it is literally on the back of a fly, unreadable and small.

I wish everything wasn't so damn expensive.

Granted, prices are slashed in half, but everything also only lasts half as long. food portions are also halved

I wish levels 90-110 moved quicker

 

[an_image]

Granted, prices are slashed in half, but everything also only lasts half as long. food portions are also halved

I wish levels 90-110 moved quicker

Granted levels 90-110 will be quicker, but an extra 110 levels and 200k aa’s are added.

I wish i were a little bit taller, i wish i was baller…

 

[Oldman66]

I wish i were a little bit taller, i wish i was baller…

Granted, you are now Britney Griner and will be a resident of Russia for the next 10yrs

I wish I had a star to wish upon.