Sorry to hear that dude.
If y'all can get some couple and individual therapy, while it might not *fix* the current issues, it'll help with the transition, and the future.
I'm a few years divorced now, suddenly and unexpectedly after being high school sweethearts for nearly 23 years. For us, she had some long hidden personal realizations about her life and wanted something differently from it.
My life today is amazing, but the years lost, the lack of closure, the near zero people who reached out during or after - it is all really really hard.
It would be easy to be bitter at the world because of it, but instead I've tried to focus on what lessons I've learned, and continue to strive to be a better person, listener, partner, friend, and lover.
It is hard; you can do hard things.
Regardless of where things land, you're gonna be ok.
I'm rooting for you