The Thread Of Puns

[The Squealing Fairy]

My husband and I were looking over my injured ankle. It is swollen, and I can't see my ankle bone. He sez to me, "Maybe it's sprained."

I sez, "It hurts!"

He sez, "Either that, or you're a reptile."

I sez, "Huh?"

He sez, "Ankleisaur."

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... You?

 

[Runned]

A coworker of mine called into work on friday, I think he has rectal glaucoma - he couldn't see his ass coming into work.

 

[Gaston]

I always liked:

Shouldn't they call hemorroids assteroids?

 

[Mageyoulook]

When it rains hard in Mulgore is it called a Tauren-tial downpour?

 

[Mageyoulook]

Heck, my name itself is a pun

 

[Saediien]

My wife has an annoying habit of sleeping at a forty-five degree angle in bed, with her head at one corner of the bed and her feet at the opposite corner. I'm worried she may be bisectual.

 

[Runned]

My wife has an annoying habit of sleeping at a forty-five degree angle in bed, with her head at one corner of the bed and her feet at the opposite corner. I'm worried she may be bisectual.

winner

 

[Eaglie]

For Halloween, I went as Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes), and my roommate went as Thomas Hobbes the philosopher.

 

[Mageyoulook]

Does that count? :p

Because I thought Calvin and Hobbes were already based on philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes and their personalities (or tiger-ality) mirror those of the philosophers they were based on.

 

[Eaglie]

It's still a pun, especially since fewer people realize that than you'd think.

 

[Wackymarv]

Isn't the new Nintendo console SWiiT!?

 

[Mageyoulook]

Now thats a pun!

 

[Saediien]

I am honored sir woodshelved.

 

[Fastinyoh]

Fastinyoh Seatbelt !


ahahahahahaha

 

[imported_Monkeyboy]

At the fast food place I work I asked a customer if they wanted a cup carrier for their drinks, they replied "yes" so I said, "okay but you have to bring me back here after!"

 

[derkaderka]

Just trying to think of the perfect thing to tie this thread together.

 

[Lesson25]

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

 

[Saediien]

Q: What did the hat say to the coat?
A: "You stay here, I'm going to go on a head."

 

[Guest]

A: My dads on a plane today
B: oh really? wheres hes off too?
A: just up and down the kitchen door


My wife says i never take her anywhere, thats such a lie, i take her to all sorts of places, problem is she keeps coming back

 

[Guest]

A: My dads on a plane today
B: oh really? wheres hes off too?
A: just up and down the kitchen door

I don't get it

 

[3rectus]

much ado about nothing

people always ask if I miss my girl friend, and I say yea, but thats only because my scope is off a little.