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Toast - We welcome...

Joined
Dec 24, 2017
RedCents
501¢
Start training Baby_Rebot ASAP..... We must ensure the survival of Redguides! As a father of 4, I am very happy for you sir, you should be proud!! Just don't forget about us!

CONGRATULATIONS @Redbot !!
 

Redbot

🖥️💖
Moderator
Joined
Oct 15, 2004
RedCents
45,416¢
Nanobot 20200208: Replication complete! 🤖🍼

I feel so fortunate that little Bernadette and my wife are healthy. I didn't open my laptop once the last two days and I thank everyone who helped, contributed, and answered questions around here to break my habit. (And a special thank you to Sic and CWTN for the list of baby robot names.)

If any of you are trying or expecting, I wish the best for you as it's potentially a wonderful experience. And if anyone is not expecting, I envy your sleep schedule.
 
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Knightly

Moderator
Joined
Jun 28, 2014
RedCents
5,300¢
Having a kid is the most terrifying and rewarding experience. You spend the first few years trying to make sure they don't kill themselves and the next few making sure you don't kill them.

I've never been more afraid or happy in my life than moments I've had with the kids. Congratulations!

But the best advice I can give you right now is this:
1.) Don't try to parent together. Take shifts so that either you or your SO is "On-Call" and awake for the baby. Separate so that whoever is not on-call isn't waking up. You'll both get good sleep that way and probably won't need the advice in #2.
2.) Recognize that sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a reason. It breaks down your mental capabilities. I never argued with my wife more than when we had our first child and before we realized taking shifts was the way. We argued over who got the last 5 minutes of sleep (and other dumb things). Recognize that you're both tired and allow each other extra leeway.
3.) If someone comes over to spend time with you, put them to work. Accept help in the form of meal preparation, dishes, laundry, etc. All of those little things that you used to do get a lot harder when you're trying to manage a newborn and you're still learning to be a parent. Almost everyone who comes over will want to help, and if not -- you're teaching them how to be a good friend to a parent. Don't try to be a good host until your kid is much older. Accept help, ask for help, expect help.
4.) In contrast to the rest of this post, if advice works for you -- great. If not, throw it out the window. People will tell you how you should sleep train, how you should table train, how you should potty train... Cosleeping is bad, cosleeping is good. Do what works for you as a family. Your kid is learning to be a kid and you are learning how to take care of a little human. The most unique little human in your world. What makes sense for others may not make sense for you. Find your rhythm, change it when you need to change, and just move forward. As long as you're all happy and healthy, you're doing it right. Don't worry about the rest.

Again, congratulations on changing your world and its orbit!
 
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