If you're on two separate computers and want to not share a connection and thus prevent each other from issuing commands to each other you'll just need to make sure both computers are running their own EQBCS
If you're using two separate computers and you want to be able to control her character and for her to be able to control your characters then you need some additional setup beyond what is typically done with EQBC.
EQBC uses a Server, and a Client. The server is run seperately outside of EQ, and each account logged into a specific computer is a Client. When you run
MQ2EQBC and
/bccmd connect, the default is 127.0.01 on port 2112
127.0.0.1 is an "imaginary" IP address, which indicates the local computer. Your actual IP address is likely different, something like 192.168.2.102 (this isn't your actual local IP address)
Since you're running on two computers, only the computer who is hosting the server can connect to it using 127.0.01
you can click on your windows
Start
button then type in
cmd
and hit enter.
then you can type
ipconfig
and hit enter.
It will spit out a bunch of information.
One bit of that information will be the connection with a "Default Gateway" entry filled in, and you want the IPv4 that populates under that option. This will be that 192.168.X.XXX number I mentioned above. The computer that isn't hosting EQBC server would
/bccmd connect 192.168.X.XXX 2112
If all goes well, they'll connect to the other local computer's EQBC Server, and you'll both be connected to the same EQBC server.