An EQ (RedGuides) Christmas in July Story

[Tonka Trucks]

Here's the format for this story. You have one line per story DO NOT POST OUT OF CONTEXT, otherwise Cade will be nerfing your post. Any named references, i.e. St. Nick, dasher, have to be someone on RedGuides. You have to follow the format and wording of this story here but can deviate as appropriate so long as its comparable:
http://www.christmas-tree.com/stories/nightbeforechristmas.html

ONE LINE PER PERSON. Easy, so I'll start it off.
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Twas the night before Patch Day, when all through the RedGuides forums

 

[Cade]

all the hackers were crying, what will be broken

 

[deepspace]

The offsets were hung, with such dis-repair

 

[Cade]

that we all knew more patches soon would be there

 

[Tonka Trucks]

The children had were nestled all snug with their heads on their Logitech keyboards

 

[deepspace]

while visions of bugs were shown in thier snores

 

[Cade]

and TeachersPet with IDA, and I with a sniffer

 

[deepspace]

Were both ready for a big Sony miffer

 

[Tonka Trucks]

When as the client loaded there arose such a clatter

 

[Cade]

That the compilers debugged their code, to see what was the matter

 

[Tonka Trucks]

Away to the forums I typed like I was on crack

 

[Cade]

Tore open MQMain, ripped apart EQData

 

[Tonka Trucks]

The MQ2 Compile on the breasts of some drunk hooker

 

[deepspace]

Gave the luster of redcents to people below

 

[Tonka Trucks]

When, what to my bloodshot eyes should appear

 

[Cade]

But a MQ2 zip, and anti warp code added

 

[deepspace]

With a little ol Devlin, so emo and sick

 

[Cade]

That I knew in a moment we were in for drama

 

[Tonka Trucks]

More faster than n00bs his leechers they came

 

[deepspace]

And he spammed, and PMed, and called the n00bs by name

 

[Tonka Trucks]

Now Redbot! Now Siddin! Now TurkReno and Griffin!

 

[Cade]

On Hooked! On Pet! On Odessa and Yammer!

 

[deepspace]

To the top of the Post! To the top of the thread!

 

[Tonka Trucks]

Now post away! Post away! Cade delete's them all!

 

[deepspace]

as posts that die before the flamewars fly

 

[Cade]

When they meet with a plugin, and flame it to the sky

 

[Tonka Trucks]

So up to PoK, the n00bs they flew

 

[deepspace]

With the bags nearly empty, and TheZ too

 

[Tonka Trucks]

And then, on my twink, I heard in the general channel

 

[deepspace]

the bitching and moaning of each little poof

 

[Tonka Trucks]

Down the library shaft NoobHaxor came with a splat.

 

[Redbot]

he was dressed all in kylong, from his helm to his 1.0 epic

 

[deepspace]

And his gear was all gimp with bad AC and Buffs

 

[Tonka Trucks]

A stack of 10,000 grapes he flung into his backpack,

 

[deepspace]

His HUD -- How it sparkled! his packets how merry!

 

[Tonka Trucks]

His offsets were like working, his speedhack like a fairy!

 

[deepspace]

his little pixelated mouth was rendered what a show

 

[Tonka Trucks]

And the beard of this dwarf was as white as the snow;

 

[deepspace]

the end of an arrow he held tight in his helmet

 

[Tonka Trucks]

and the blood it encircled his head like a pool