Deafdumbandblind
New member
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2006
- RedCents
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I've had enough of all the hearsay and unfounded debate on this subject. I therefore decided to carry out some in depth research into the whole hammer/axe argument. To my amazement I found that the argument is actually pointless since both hammers and axes were derived originally.....
...FROM TEH SWROD!
View attachment 101
Yes, yes I know it's a shock. After some investigation I found out how the axe and hammer evolved from the sword.
You see, some demented wise-ass decided that the sword, like that above, wasn't a good enough killing implement - probably requiring a tad too much skill to wield successfully without lopping off one's own limbs - so he made this:
View attachment 102
It's called a Death Axe (true, I found it on a website). Note the similarity to the sword. It is, however, the first step of the sword evolving to become the Axe.
Someone then probably figured that there was waaaaay too much steel in that there weapon and, as you know, in the old days steel was very expensive. So he reduced the amount of steel and at the same time increased length the handle to give the weapon more leverage and also to keep the chopping bit even further from the wielders limbs.
Behold the axe was born! (um..from the sword tho).
View attachment 103
Then came the great recession. This happened when the japanese started making their swords and, as everyone knows, they used a heck of a lot of steel to make their swords bending it over and over on itself. The effect of this was that there was a world shortage of steel due to the japanese swordsmiths, like what's happening in China right now...except they're not making swords...which forced all the Europeans (America hadn't been invented yet) to reduce the amount of steel in their axes even more until....
..THE HAMMER WAS BORN!
View attachment 104
Note the similarity in shape to the axe.
Of course, as the chinese and japanese started messing around with guns, swords went out of fashion and so the Europeans (still no America as yet) started putting more metal on the blunt bit of the hammer so that it started to look like Thor's hammer. It was a blantant patent infringement but they didn't have them laws in those days because America hadn't been invented.
So you see, through my investigations I have proven that axes and hammers are really the same thing, that being, SWORDS!
...FROM TEH SWROD!
View attachment 101
Yes, yes I know it's a shock. After some investigation I found out how the axe and hammer evolved from the sword.
You see, some demented wise-ass decided that the sword, like that above, wasn't a good enough killing implement - probably requiring a tad too much skill to wield successfully without lopping off one's own limbs - so he made this:
View attachment 102
It's called a Death Axe (true, I found it on a website). Note the similarity to the sword. It is, however, the first step of the sword evolving to become the Axe.
Someone then probably figured that there was waaaaay too much steel in that there weapon and, as you know, in the old days steel was very expensive. So he reduced the amount of steel and at the same time increased length the handle to give the weapon more leverage and also to keep the chopping bit even further from the wielders limbs.
Behold the axe was born! (um..from the sword tho).
View attachment 103
Then came the great recession. This happened when the japanese started making their swords and, as everyone knows, they used a heck of a lot of steel to make their swords bending it over and over on itself. The effect of this was that there was a world shortage of steel due to the japanese swordsmiths, like what's happening in China right now...except they're not making swords...which forced all the Europeans (America hadn't been invented yet) to reduce the amount of steel in their axes even more until....
..THE HAMMER WAS BORN!
View attachment 104
Note the similarity in shape to the axe.
Of course, as the chinese and japanese started messing around with guns, swords went out of fashion and so the Europeans (still no America as yet) started putting more metal on the blunt bit of the hammer so that it started to look like Thor's hammer. It was a blantant patent infringement but they didn't have them laws in those days because America hadn't been invented.
So you see, through my investigations I have proven that axes and hammers are really the same thing, that being, SWORDS!