Hello, My name is Steve. People on the Internet call me Runned, People in video games call me Woodshelf, and people at the supermarket call me Fat. I registered this account because of my pure and unconditional love for Alija. I would like nothing more than for her to lay eggs in my brain so that my skull would be a vessel for future generations of Zanzibars, but I digress.
I also am addicted to online video games. However It has been almost six months since I've played one. My online activities are now limited to downloading pornography and reading message boards about online video games. I have been extremely depressed about this, and I eventually fell down a path of blogging and listening to emo music. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to take my mind off gaming by enrolling in some classes at a local community college, only that plan backfired on me horribly. I now find myself drawing pictures of wood elves and orcs, casting starfire on little Halflings running through the shire, and pretending to be a zombie robot. Here is my story...
It all started in the wonderful year of two thousand. A new millennium was upon us, Seinfeld was now only a product of syndication, and for the first time in the history of the United States a Chimpanzee was elected president. I was a sophomore in high school and my mind was easily corruptible. My dear friend Arri or known to FoH'rs at the time as Teddyruxpin, sent me a link to www.notacult.com. "What is this?" I thought to myself as my AOL browser groaned and screamed trying to load up the website. Little did I know that this website would shape the next five years of my life.
Only a few weeks later, I was sitting at my computer desk straining over what to name my very first Everquest character. "Hmmm ..." I'd groan to myself, "What is a name that is thoughtful, artistic, and yet still strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies?" and it hit me. It hit me like an old man driving down a crowded marketplace. WOODSHELF.
With my Short Sword* in hand, and tattered note safely returned to my Guild Master, I was ready to crusade against the unhappiness that hath befallen Norrath. I was a Woodelf ranger on a mission. I equipped the burlap sack that my Guild Master gave me, and accidently fell off of the tree city with poise and zeal. After I came back to life, I was distraught to learn that before spreading Happiness, I must slay countless bats and pumas.
After guiding the entire population of puma and kerran down a path of extinction, I was ready jump in front of a bullet. To be honest, by this time I was fed up with the game and was ready to quit. Fuck killing pumas, fuck kodiaks, and fuck assholes training the Hill Giants to EC tunnel. I'm done. Five seconds left before camping out, I read these magical words:
Castiellaveilla says out of character: FoH fag CCing at orc1
Boden says out of character: Nuggets.
Uuloss says out of character: I'm stupid! (or something along those lines)
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa... whoa... Is this the same FoH that I was reading about? The Knights of Happiness? Surely this must be a joke. I had to go look for myself! Coming over a hill I could see the leopard print tents off in the distance, I reached out to grab them as if they were a few feet in front of me ... and I stopped. Hmm? What's this? I can't move! It seems my feet were entangled in roots. Little is known about what happened next, but one thing is for sure: sitting in Kelethin naked with your corpse on the other side of the world sucks ass.
I inquired as to whom their leader was, and upon receiving instructions on how to join, I was one of them. I felt like a kid straight out of high school playing for the NBA. I was so happy that I grew a hemorrhoid. Over the next five years relationships were created, and destroyed. I quit the guild about four times, and then became the leader on Sullon Zek. I quit again, and lay dormant until we entered the age of World of Warcraft.
The peak of my video gaming career was during our brief excursion through the world of Azeroth. I gained an Exalted status in game by my prowess on the message boards. For months, everybody knew who I was. I was happy as a clam. Alas, all good things must come to an end, and this was no exception to the rule. I quit the game at the peak of my career, and haven't gone back since. This was the single most regretful decision of my lifetime - but yet the smartest.
I havn't played an online video game since. There's nothing in the world I'd rather do right now than to log on and talk to people over the internet through the eyes of a level 60 Undead Priest. Alas, my addiction cannot get the best of me. I must ... move on.
Edited for spelling, grammar, and other changes that made reading this a little easier :P
I also am addicted to online video games. However It has been almost six months since I've played one. My online activities are now limited to downloading pornography and reading message boards about online video games. I have been extremely depressed about this, and I eventually fell down a path of blogging and listening to emo music. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to take my mind off gaming by enrolling in some classes at a local community college, only that plan backfired on me horribly. I now find myself drawing pictures of wood elves and orcs, casting starfire on little Halflings running through the shire, and pretending to be a zombie robot. Here is my story...
It all started in the wonderful year of two thousand. A new millennium was upon us, Seinfeld was now only a product of syndication, and for the first time in the history of the United States a Chimpanzee was elected president. I was a sophomore in high school and my mind was easily corruptible. My dear friend Arri or known to FoH'rs at the time as Teddyruxpin, sent me a link to www.notacult.com. "What is this?" I thought to myself as my AOL browser groaned and screamed trying to load up the website. Little did I know that this website would shape the next five years of my life.
Only a few weeks later, I was sitting at my computer desk straining over what to name my very first Everquest character. "Hmmm ..." I'd groan to myself, "What is a name that is thoughtful, artistic, and yet still strikes fear into the hearts of my enemies?" and it hit me. It hit me like an old man driving down a crowded marketplace. WOODSHELF.
With my Short Sword* in hand, and tattered note safely returned to my Guild Master, I was ready to crusade against the unhappiness that hath befallen Norrath. I was a Woodelf ranger on a mission. I equipped the burlap sack that my Guild Master gave me, and accidently fell off of the tree city with poise and zeal. After I came back to life, I was distraught to learn that before spreading Happiness, I must slay countless bats and pumas.
After guiding the entire population of puma and kerran down a path of extinction, I was ready jump in front of a bullet. To be honest, by this time I was fed up with the game and was ready to quit. Fuck killing pumas, fuck kodiaks, and fuck assholes training the Hill Giants to EC tunnel. I'm done. Five seconds left before camping out, I read these magical words:
Castiellaveilla says out of character: FoH fag CCing at orc1
Boden says out of character: Nuggets.
Uuloss says out of character: I'm stupid! (or something along those lines)
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa... whoa... Is this the same FoH that I was reading about? The Knights of Happiness? Surely this must be a joke. I had to go look for myself! Coming over a hill I could see the leopard print tents off in the distance, I reached out to grab them as if they were a few feet in front of me ... and I stopped. Hmm? What's this? I can't move! It seems my feet were entangled in roots. Little is known about what happened next, but one thing is for sure: sitting in Kelethin naked with your corpse on the other side of the world sucks ass.
I inquired as to whom their leader was, and upon receiving instructions on how to join, I was one of them. I felt like a kid straight out of high school playing for the NBA. I was so happy that I grew a hemorrhoid. Over the next five years relationships were created, and destroyed. I quit the guild about four times, and then became the leader on Sullon Zek. I quit again, and lay dormant until we entered the age of World of Warcraft.
The peak of my video gaming career was during our brief excursion through the world of Azeroth. I gained an Exalted status in game by my prowess on the message boards. For months, everybody knew who I was. I was happy as a clam. Alas, all good things must come to an end, and this was no exception to the rule. I quit the game at the peak of my career, and haven't gone back since. This was the single most regretful decision of my lifetime - but yet the smartest.
I havn't played an online video game since. There's nothing in the world I'd rather do right now than to log on and talk to people over the internet through the eyes of a level 60 Undead Priest. Alas, my addiction cannot get the best of me. I must ... move on.
Edited for spelling, grammar, and other changes that made reading this a little easier :P
