i really have no idea.. : /
i didn't do any online searching or anything. I came to japan just because i was sick of america, and was looking for a change in my life. i had come here on vacation for ten days, and met someone during that window of time that would end up becoming my wife when i moved back here. we didn't sleep together or anything during my initial visit, just met her here at a party, and got her email address and exchanged awkward broken english / broken japanese emails. they weren't even really exciting (how are you? i am fine. it is hot in japan, how is the weather there?), just interesting from a standpoint that this was someone on the opposite side of the planet.
when i had decided i was moving to japan to "give it a shot" living over here, it wasn't even "OMG I'LL BE REUNITED WITH WHATSHERFACE", i just happened to end up finding a job in the same area she lived (i did search for that area specifically, because i would already know the people i had met at the party, and had no interest moving somewhere where i'd know NO ONE).
rather than stay in a hotel for my first two weeks here, she offered to let me stay with her while i found an apartment of my own, and bing bang boom, we had a kid last month.
when i broke up with my ex while still living in america (a chinese-american foreign exchange banker working in san francisco), i thought my life was pretty much over. all i did was sit around and smoke weed all day and play WoW, and i figured hooking up with her while she was still not yet out of college and still feeling like she was an unattractive math nerd (she wasn't) was the biggest fluke of luck i was ever going to come across on my time on the planet. half of me moving to japan was just leaving the fucking country that she still lived in behind, and finding something new. that i ended up hooking up with my wife was just icing on the cake.
i never had any faith in adult dating websites or anything of the like. it's still many a day i wish i could just roll out bed on a saturday and just sit around in my underwear smoking weed all day long and zone out to an MMO or console vids, but that's the downside of having someone else in your life who expects you do get shit done if you're not busy.
meh. grass is always greener.
from our time spent in vent, you sound like a perfectly normal person, my only advice i can give is that when you DO find someone, don't dive in head first
i love my wife, but i do somewhat regret not having spent a year or so in japan as Bruce Wayne, international playboy. if you come over HERE, and geta job doing fucking anything, you will be surrounded by people who worship your "non-japanese-ness". no offense to any japanese guys reading this, but there are about 3 types of japanese man:
super hard working guy who stays at work until midnight regardless if there's shit to do or not, then drinks himself silly until he passes out on the train coming home,
super duper pretty boy guy who would probably cry if he broke a nail,
and fucking weirdo guy that never leaves his room (see:
Hikikomori).
I think just not being any of those three archetypes works well in anyone's favor, regardless of how lame YOU think you are. hell, even if you ARE one of these types, at least you're EXOTIC, you white skinned devil!
also: i hate myspace and facebook with passion, but you could always join one of those, limit search results to japan, and send out a few "hello, i am Jack, nice to meet you. i have one cat and two fish. would you like to be my penpal?" any actual japanese person on those sites (american or english based networking sites) is basically throwing themselves out there looking for english conversation partners. they would kill for someone who actually KNOWS english instead of just "has a grasp on english like yoshi next door". an interesting fact, too: while many japanese learn english, and many have a pretty good grasp on it, their usage of it is best in written form. they have practice of reading and writing english in college and high school, it's just the actual speaking part that throws them for a loop. if you 'got to know' someone through email, they'd blow up an airport to get you in the country in person probably.
:qq:
