Ran across Postleaf's story competition, late. But made me remember all these EQ stories I've collected over the years. Some of which are freakin hilarious. Can't claim anything on them other than I have kept them for years. I didn't write any of em. I'll put em in separate posts..
Hope you enjoy these..
Trakanon.. you big goof!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am reposting this from our guild boards.. hopefully Soleanla won't be too mad at me... its quite the funny RP read.
Ahem...I would like to present to you...Trakanon Raid:
You have entered Old Sebilis
Ranger says, âHey guys look at this new RANGER ONLY weapon I got! Verant has definitely done the right thing THIS time! Needle of Tunare: Damage 1 delay 1!
Paladin raises his eyebrows.
Paladin says, âYouâre actually going to USE that? That suicide!
Ranger says, âNo its not! I have Warrior here to taunt off me!
Level59Warrior shifts uneasily from foot to foot
Warrior has yet to tell Ranger he canât taunt Trakanon because Trakanon is higher level and Warrior isnât level 60 yet.
Warrior quickly changes the subject.
Warrior says, âOk is everyone here?â
Enchanter says, âJust a secâ
Enchanter begins to cast a spell.
Enchanter turns into a fire elemental.
Enchanter says, âAhh I am the master of illusions.â
Bard uses Iksar Hide Mask.
Necromancer turns into a spectre.
Druid and Ranger turn into wolves.
Shaman turns into a bear.
Rogue uses Guise of the deceiver.
Enchanter sighs.
Warrior says, âAlright then, lets get movingâ
Warrior shouts, âAssist on me Froglock Shmuck Wizard"
Tanks charge Froglok Shmuck Wizard.
Necromancer begins to cast a spell.
Froglock Shmuck Wizard pokes Necromancer for 001 points of damage.
Necromancerâs casting is interrupted!
Froglok Shmuck Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
RangerWithStupidlyFastWeapon pokes Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 4 points of damage about a million times.
Rogue backstabs Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 500 points of damage.
Rogue backstabs Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 500 points of damage.
Froglok Shmuck Wizard shrugs and continues its casting.
GroupOPlayers rise chaotically into the air.
14Players bonk into the ceiling for 1 point of damage.
14Players fall back to the ground for 30 points of damage.
Slightly Annoyed Wizard, Magician, and Druid all nuke Froglok Shmuck Wizard several times over.
Froglok Shmuck Wizard has been slain!
Cleric master-loots Froglok Shmuck Wizardâs corpse.
Cleric has looted a Fire Opal.
Cleric has looted a Sapphire.
Cleric has looted a Fire Emerald
Cleric has looted a Blue Diamond.
Cleric pockets all the shiny gems.
GroupOPlayers look at Cleric.
Cleric says, âWell I need to pay for my Symbol Donât I?â
Moths fly out of Warriorâs pockets.
Several hundred peridots fall out of Clericâs Bag of the Tinkerers.
Cleric says, âOk, Ok, Iâll split the change then.
You receive 1 gold, 38 silver, and 483 copper as your split.
Druid says, âOh who cares, all I want is my Trakanon loot!â
GroupOPlayers agree and move on.
Later onâŚ
Tanks whomp mercilessly on Tolapumj.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 1 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 2 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Warrior hits Tolapumj for 125 points of damage.
Warrior hits Tolapumj for 125 points of damage.
Warrior bashes Tolapumj for 25 points of damage.
Tolapumj glares at tanks.
Tolapumj brushes off his robe.
Tolapumj says, âArgh, and I just cleaned and ironed this thing too!â
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Druid begins to cast a spell.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 1 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 2 points of damage.
Ranger kicks Tolapumj for 1 point of damage.
Ranger says, âOk, this sucksâ
Ranger backs off and takes out his bow.
Wizardâs spell has been resisted.
Druidâs spell hits dead-on.
Tolapumj says, âHit by non-melee for 1024 points of damage.â
Verant Employee poofs in.
GroupOPlayers and Tolapumj stop fighting and look at Verant Employee.
Verant Employee slaps Tolapumj.
Verant Employee says, âThis is your last warning, Tolapumj. We told you not to say that almost a year ago! Do it again and we take away your retirement plan!â
Verant Employee poofs away.
GroupOPlayers look at Tolapumj.
Tolapumj looks at GroupOPlayers.
Tolapumj says, âWhat theâŚ? That was odd.â
Ranger draws his bowstring.
Fighting resumes.
Ranger shoots with his bow.
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Other Tanks lay the beat-down upon Tolapumj.
Rogue backstabs Tolapumj for 400 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Ranger uses his Trueshot Discipline.
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 1 point of non-melee damage.
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj begins to cast a spell.
Tolapumj does a back flip in the middle of the battle.
Rogue has been ice-cometed.
Rogue has been knocked unconscious!
Rogue uses his discipline.
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Cleric bonks her Donalâs Breastplate.
Warrior gives an alarmed look at Cleric.
Cleric says, âWell I gotta be mana efficient here!
Warrior and Paladin taunt like crazy.
PaladinWhoNeverWorkedOnTaunt says, âHey boogerbrain! Over here!â
WarriorWithMasterTauntSkill says, âCome on you wussy froglok! You call that a hit??! My GRANDMOTHER hits harder than that! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!â
RandomMob walks by.
Ranger says, âaddâ
Warrior says, âAdd!â
Necromancer says, âADDâ
Shaman says, âAddâ
Wizard says, âADD!â
Magician says, âAddâ
Paladin says, âaddâ
Shadowknight says, âAddâ
Bard says, âADDâ
Monk says, âadd!â
Cleric says, âaddâ
Rogue says, âAdd!â
Druid says, âaddâ
Enchanter wakes from his deep slumber.
Enchanter says sleepily, âHuuuh? Does everyone need another round of my Epic already?
Enchanter notices RandomMob.
Enchanter says, âOhâŚâ
Enchanter begins to cast a spell.
RandomMob has been mezzed.
Necroâs pet suddenly turns around, whacks MezzedRandomMob, then immediately goes back to fighting Tolapumj.
Random mob starts beating on Enchanter.
Enchanter makes a rude gesture at Necroâs Pet.
Nukers all begin to cast spells.
Nukers hit Tolapumj for an obscene amount of non-melee damage.
Tolapumj is at 10 hit-points.
Tolapumj begins to cast a spell.
Warrior has been stripped of all buffs.
Warrior says, âARGH whatâs your problem?!â
Warrior shoves Tolapumj to the ground for 9 points of damage.
Tolapumj chucks a rock at GroupOPlayers with his last ounce of strength.
Warrior kicks Tolapumj for 1 point of damage.
Tolapumj has been slain by Warrior!
a flying rock tries to hit Necromancer, but Necromancer dodges!
a flying rock tries to hit Magician, but Magician dodges!
a flying rock tries to hit Enchanter, but Enchanter dodges!
a flying rock tries to hit Wizard, but Wizard dodges!
a flying rock hits Ranger square between the eyes.
Ranger has been knocked unconscious!
13Players roll their eyes and move on.
Right outside Trakanonâs lairâŚ
Warrior says, âOk guys, this is it. Everyone ready?â
Magician says, âWait a second! Whereâs my pet??? Goner! Goner! Here boy!
Trakanon roars in the distance.
Taunting Attacker Master.
Magician says, âUgghâ
Magician sits down and waits to die.
An endless 3 seconds pass.
YOU have been summoned!
Trakanon says, âYou will not evade me a_Magician00â
Trakanon says, âMagicians like you really bring out the worst in me!â
Trakanon says, âYou Magicians have ruined your own lands, youâll not ruin mine!
Trakanon says, âMagicians like you are better left dead than alive!
Trakanon says, âI really hate Magicians like you!
Trakanon says, âMagicians like you--â
Magician slaps Trakanon.
Magician says, âWill you shut up and just kill me!!!â
Trakanon says, âWhoa thanks, I needed thatâ
Trakanon gives Magician an evil grin.
Magician is slain like nothing he has ever seen.
An ominous silence fills the cave.
RemainingPlayers gulp and look around.
RandomSebilisPlayer shouts, âDisco 1 looking for chanter!â
Enchanter pauses for a second.
Enchanter looks around at everyone.
Enchanter says, âWell you donât really need me anymore do you???â
Enchanter shouts, âBe right there!â
Enchanter leaves.
Warrior says, âWe better charge before anyone else goes.â
Warrior says, âCleric, start casting your Breastplate now, and maybe it will actually heal someone on time.
Warrior charges headlong and says, âDeath to Trakanon!â
Cleric sighs.
Trakanon roars.
Warrior wheels around and runs out feared.
RestOPlayers reluctantly charge.
Bard accidentally clicks his Plane of Growth breastplate.
Bard says, âCrap!â
Bard begins to uncontrollably sing Seloâs Song of Travel.
Bard zooms past Trakanon faster than Spirit of Cheetah.
Bard crashes into the opposite wall with only his feet sticking out of the crater.
Bard has been knocked unconscious!
RemainingTanks throw everything they have at Trakanon.
Paladin hits Trakanon for 100 points of damage.
Paladin hits Trakanon for 100 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Monk uses his discipline.
Monk lands a thunderous kick! (25)
Monk says, â#$!@â
Rogue climbs up on Trakanonâs tail to get into position for backstab.
Rogue tries to backstab Trakanon, but misses!
Shadowknight says sarcastically, âNice miss there! His back is only as big as what, a barn door????â
Rogue falls off Trakanonâs tail.
Shaman looks around mildly.
Shaman says, âAnyone need their dexterity buffs renewed?â
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Paladin says, âOh crap, Cleric where are you?â
Cleric is struggling with her breastplate.
Paladin says, âForget itâ
Paladin begins to cast a spell.
Paladin feels a healing touch.
Trakanon says, âOh no you donât!â
Paladin has been uber-dotted.
6 seconds pass.
Paladin has been slain by Trakanonâs dot.
Trakanon proceeds to slay the rest of the tanks.
Wizard uses his new dragon DD.
Trakanon has been hit for 2,000 points of unresistable damage
Wizard proceeds to make idle conversation âHey did you know the mana cost on that was just reduced?â
Clericâs Breastplate effect occurs and casts on Paladinâs corpse.
Trakanon roars.
Cleric has been summoned!
Cleric casts Divine Aura.
Trakanon says, âYou will not evade me Clericâ
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Cleric laughs
Trakanon begins to cast his 3k DoT
Cleric casts Divine Barrier and chuckles at the other classes
All other classes have been hit with the 3k DoT, except for Paladin who is already dead, and the only other class that couldâve resisted it.
All other classes are slain by the DoT.
Divine Barrier blinks and fades.
Cleric says, âOooh crapâ
Trakanon gives Cleric an evil grin much like he did to Magician.
Trakanon says, âVictory is mine!â
Ranger rushes in.
Ranger says, âDonât worry Cleric! Iâll save you!â
Cleric moans, rolls her eyes, and looks up at Trakanon.
Cleric says, âAre you going to kill me or not??â
Ranger says, âDonât worry, I know what Iâmâ
Ranger trips and falls.
Rangerâs Needle of Tunare flys out of his hand.
Trakanon watches in horror as the needle spins towards him in slow motion.
Trakanon tries to dodge the needle Matrix-style.
Trakanon has forgotten he is the size of a bus.
Trakanon is hit in the face by the needle.
Trakanon shouts, âMY EYE MY EYE!!!!!!! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!! AAAAAAGGGHHHâŚâ
Trakanon has been slain by Ranger!
Cleric says, âWTF? I donât believe it!â
Cleric scrolls her text box up to make sure.
Ranger checks Trakanonâs Corpse.
Ranger says, âMaybe ill finally complete my set of Tolan!â
The sound of Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, and Hanson simultaneously fills the air.
Cleric screams in horror.
Ranger shouts, âAHHHHHHH!!! 3 singing steel breastplates! RUUUUN
Hope you enjoy these..
Trakanon.. you big goof!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am reposting this from our guild boards.. hopefully Soleanla won't be too mad at me... its quite the funny RP read.
Ahem...I would like to present to you...Trakanon Raid:
You have entered Old Sebilis
Ranger says, âHey guys look at this new RANGER ONLY weapon I got! Verant has definitely done the right thing THIS time! Needle of Tunare: Damage 1 delay 1!
Paladin raises his eyebrows.
Paladin says, âYouâre actually going to USE that? That suicide!
Ranger says, âNo its not! I have Warrior here to taunt off me!
Level59Warrior shifts uneasily from foot to foot
Warrior has yet to tell Ranger he canât taunt Trakanon because Trakanon is higher level and Warrior isnât level 60 yet.
Warrior quickly changes the subject.
Warrior says, âOk is everyone here?â
Enchanter says, âJust a secâ
Enchanter begins to cast a spell.
Enchanter turns into a fire elemental.
Enchanter says, âAhh I am the master of illusions.â
Bard uses Iksar Hide Mask.
Necromancer turns into a spectre.
Druid and Ranger turn into wolves.
Shaman turns into a bear.
Rogue uses Guise of the deceiver.
Enchanter sighs.
Warrior says, âAlright then, lets get movingâ
Warrior shouts, âAssist on me Froglock Shmuck Wizard"
Tanks charge Froglok Shmuck Wizard.
Necromancer begins to cast a spell.
Froglock Shmuck Wizard pokes Necromancer for 001 points of damage.
Necromancerâs casting is interrupted!
Froglok Shmuck Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
Warrior hits Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 150 points of damage
RangerWithStupidlyFastWeapon pokes Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 4 points of damage about a million times.
Rogue backstabs Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 500 points of damage.
Rogue backstabs Froglok Shmuck Wizard for 500 points of damage.
Froglok Shmuck Wizard shrugs and continues its casting.
GroupOPlayers rise chaotically into the air.
14Players bonk into the ceiling for 1 point of damage.
14Players fall back to the ground for 30 points of damage.
Slightly Annoyed Wizard, Magician, and Druid all nuke Froglok Shmuck Wizard several times over.
Froglok Shmuck Wizard has been slain!
Cleric master-loots Froglok Shmuck Wizardâs corpse.
Cleric has looted a Fire Opal.
Cleric has looted a Sapphire.
Cleric has looted a Fire Emerald
Cleric has looted a Blue Diamond.
Cleric pockets all the shiny gems.
GroupOPlayers look at Cleric.
Cleric says, âWell I need to pay for my Symbol Donât I?â
Moths fly out of Warriorâs pockets.
Several hundred peridots fall out of Clericâs Bag of the Tinkerers.
Cleric says, âOk, Ok, Iâll split the change then.
You receive 1 gold, 38 silver, and 483 copper as your split.
Druid says, âOh who cares, all I want is my Trakanon loot!â
GroupOPlayers agree and move on.
Later onâŚ
Tanks whomp mercilessly on Tolapumj.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 1 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 2 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Ranger for 270 points of damage.
Warrior hits Tolapumj for 125 points of damage.
Warrior hits Tolapumj for 125 points of damage.
Warrior bashes Tolapumj for 25 points of damage.
Tolapumj glares at tanks.
Tolapumj brushes off his robe.
Tolapumj says, âArgh, and I just cleaned and ironed this thing too!â
Wizard begins to cast a spell.
Druid begins to cast a spell.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 1 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 4 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 3 points of damage.
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 2 points of damage.
Ranger kicks Tolapumj for 1 point of damage.
Ranger says, âOk, this sucksâ
Ranger backs off and takes out his bow.
Wizardâs spell has been resisted.
Druidâs spell hits dead-on.
Tolapumj says, âHit by non-melee for 1024 points of damage.â
Verant Employee poofs in.
GroupOPlayers and Tolapumj stop fighting and look at Verant Employee.
Verant Employee slaps Tolapumj.
Verant Employee says, âThis is your last warning, Tolapumj. We told you not to say that almost a year ago! Do it again and we take away your retirement plan!â
Verant Employee poofs away.
GroupOPlayers look at Tolapumj.
Tolapumj looks at GroupOPlayers.
Tolapumj says, âWhat theâŚ? That was odd.â
Ranger draws his bowstring.
Fighting resumes.
Ranger shoots with his bow.
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Other Tanks lay the beat-down upon Tolapumj.
Rogue backstabs Tolapumj for 400 points of damage.
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Ranger uses his Trueshot Discipline.
Ranger tries to hit Tolapumj, but misses!
Ranger hits Tolapumj for 1 point of non-melee damage.
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj hits Rogue for 280 points of damage
Tolapumj begins to cast a spell.
Tolapumj does a back flip in the middle of the battle.
Rogue has been ice-cometed.
Rogue has been knocked unconscious!
Rogue uses his discipline.
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Tolapumj tries to hit UnconsiousRogue, but UnconsiousRogue dodges!
Cleric bonks her Donalâs Breastplate.
Warrior gives an alarmed look at Cleric.
Cleric says, âWell I gotta be mana efficient here!
Warrior and Paladin taunt like crazy.
PaladinWhoNeverWorkedOnTaunt says, âHey boogerbrain! Over here!â
WarriorWithMasterTauntSkill says, âCome on you wussy froglok! You call that a hit??! My GRANDMOTHER hits harder than that! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!â
RandomMob walks by.
Ranger says, âaddâ
Warrior says, âAdd!â
Necromancer says, âADDâ
Shaman says, âAddâ
Wizard says, âADD!â
Magician says, âAddâ
Paladin says, âaddâ
Shadowknight says, âAddâ
Bard says, âADDâ
Monk says, âadd!â
Cleric says, âaddâ
Rogue says, âAdd!â
Druid says, âaddâ
Enchanter wakes from his deep slumber.
Enchanter says sleepily, âHuuuh? Does everyone need another round of my Epic already?
Enchanter notices RandomMob.
Enchanter says, âOhâŚâ
Enchanter begins to cast a spell.
RandomMob has been mezzed.
Necroâs pet suddenly turns around, whacks MezzedRandomMob, then immediately goes back to fighting Tolapumj.
Random mob starts beating on Enchanter.
Enchanter makes a rude gesture at Necroâs Pet.
Nukers all begin to cast spells.
Nukers hit Tolapumj for an obscene amount of non-melee damage.
Tolapumj is at 10 hit-points.
Tolapumj begins to cast a spell.
Warrior has been stripped of all buffs.
Warrior says, âARGH whatâs your problem?!â
Warrior shoves Tolapumj to the ground for 9 points of damage.
Tolapumj chucks a rock at GroupOPlayers with his last ounce of strength.
Warrior kicks Tolapumj for 1 point of damage.
Tolapumj has been slain by Warrior!
a flying rock tries to hit Necromancer, but Necromancer dodges!
a flying rock tries to hit Magician, but Magician dodges!
a flying rock tries to hit Enchanter, but Enchanter dodges!
a flying rock tries to hit Wizard, but Wizard dodges!
a flying rock hits Ranger square between the eyes.
Ranger has been knocked unconscious!
13Players roll their eyes and move on.
Right outside Trakanonâs lairâŚ
Warrior says, âOk guys, this is it. Everyone ready?â
Magician says, âWait a second! Whereâs my pet??? Goner! Goner! Here boy!
Trakanon roars in the distance.
Taunting Attacker Master.
Magician says, âUgghâ
Magician sits down and waits to die.
An endless 3 seconds pass.
YOU have been summoned!
Trakanon says, âYou will not evade me a_Magician00â
Trakanon says, âMagicians like you really bring out the worst in me!â
Trakanon says, âYou Magicians have ruined your own lands, youâll not ruin mine!
Trakanon says, âMagicians like you are better left dead than alive!
Trakanon says, âI really hate Magicians like you!
Trakanon says, âMagicians like you--â
Magician slaps Trakanon.
Magician says, âWill you shut up and just kill me!!!â
Trakanon says, âWhoa thanks, I needed thatâ
Trakanon gives Magician an evil grin.
Magician is slain like nothing he has ever seen.
An ominous silence fills the cave.
RemainingPlayers gulp and look around.
RandomSebilisPlayer shouts, âDisco 1 looking for chanter!â
Enchanter pauses for a second.
Enchanter looks around at everyone.
Enchanter says, âWell you donât really need me anymore do you???â
Enchanter shouts, âBe right there!â
Enchanter leaves.
Warrior says, âWe better charge before anyone else goes.â
Warrior says, âCleric, start casting your Breastplate now, and maybe it will actually heal someone on time.
Warrior charges headlong and says, âDeath to Trakanon!â
Cleric sighs.
Trakanon roars.
Warrior wheels around and runs out feared.
RestOPlayers reluctantly charge.
Bard accidentally clicks his Plane of Growth breastplate.
Bard says, âCrap!â
Bard begins to uncontrollably sing Seloâs Song of Travel.
Bard zooms past Trakanon faster than Spirit of Cheetah.
Bard crashes into the opposite wall with only his feet sticking out of the crater.
Bard has been knocked unconscious!
RemainingTanks throw everything they have at Trakanon.
Paladin hits Trakanon for 100 points of damage.
Paladin hits Trakanon for 100 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 620 points of damage.
Monk uses his discipline.
Monk lands a thunderous kick! (25)
Monk says, â#$!@â
Rogue climbs up on Trakanonâs tail to get into position for backstab.
Rogue tries to backstab Trakanon, but misses!
Shadowknight says sarcastically, âNice miss there! His back is only as big as what, a barn door????â
Rogue falls off Trakanonâs tail.
Shaman looks around mildly.
Shaman says, âAnyone need their dexterity buffs renewed?â
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Trakanon hits Paladin for 600 points of damage.
Paladin says, âOh crap, Cleric where are you?â
Cleric is struggling with her breastplate.
Paladin says, âForget itâ
Paladin begins to cast a spell.
Paladin feels a healing touch.
Trakanon says, âOh no you donât!â
Paladin has been uber-dotted.
6 seconds pass.
Paladin has been slain by Trakanonâs dot.
Trakanon proceeds to slay the rest of the tanks.
Wizard uses his new dragon DD.
Trakanon has been hit for 2,000 points of unresistable damage
Wizard proceeds to make idle conversation âHey did you know the mana cost on that was just reduced?â
Clericâs Breastplate effect occurs and casts on Paladinâs corpse.
Trakanon roars.
Cleric has been summoned!
Cleric casts Divine Aura.
Trakanon says, âYou will not evade me Clericâ
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Trakanon tries to hit Cleric, but Cleric is INVULNERABLE!
Cleric laughs
Trakanon begins to cast his 3k DoT
Cleric casts Divine Barrier and chuckles at the other classes
All other classes have been hit with the 3k DoT, except for Paladin who is already dead, and the only other class that couldâve resisted it.
All other classes are slain by the DoT.
Divine Barrier blinks and fades.
Cleric says, âOooh crapâ
Trakanon gives Cleric an evil grin much like he did to Magician.
Trakanon says, âVictory is mine!â
Ranger rushes in.
Ranger says, âDonât worry Cleric! Iâll save you!â
Cleric moans, rolls her eyes, and looks up at Trakanon.
Cleric says, âAre you going to kill me or not??â
Ranger says, âDonât worry, I know what Iâmâ
Ranger trips and falls.
Rangerâs Needle of Tunare flys out of his hand.
Trakanon watches in horror as the needle spins towards him in slow motion.
Trakanon tries to dodge the needle Matrix-style.
Trakanon has forgotten he is the size of a bus.
Trakanon is hit in the face by the needle.
Trakanon shouts, âMY EYE MY EYE!!!!!!! THE PAIN! THE PAIN!! AAAAAAGGGHHHâŚâ
Trakanon has been slain by Ranger!
Cleric says, âWTF? I donât believe it!â
Cleric scrolls her text box up to make sure.
Ranger checks Trakanonâs Corpse.
Ranger says, âMaybe ill finally complete my set of Tolan!â
The sound of Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, and Hanson simultaneously fills the air.
Cleric screams in horror.
Ranger shouts, âAHHHHHHH!!! 3 singing steel breastplates! RUUUUN