Deafdumbandblind
New member
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2006
- RedCents
- 0¢
Hi, it's me again here to put the record straight.
Through the magical medium that is teh INTERWEB I delved deep into the history of the elves to find out where they came from.
But I delved too deep and awoke an ancient evil. By the light of my monitor in the early hours of the morning the very shadows seemed to grow and close in about me.
I had uncovered a horror of gargantuan proportions.....
View attachment 118
.....the German's invented Elves.
Yep. Fact.
It all makes cruel sense now. Their perfect and efficient forms, their magical powers, being at one with nature, they never fall ill, they're resistant to poisons and fear, they're immortal - in fact, just like a BMW or Merc, they're the perfect design.
JRR Tolkien was quick to see perfection that is the elf and decided that we, the Great British people, needed our own elves. He produced bigger and better elves in the hope that eventually nobody would remember the german elves....
View attachment 119
phwoar!...
...works for me...erm...this one's name was "Lady Yes'thesearereal" from the less well known fourth book in the LotR series...ahem.
Well, after JRR Tolkien's books (about british elves!) sold millions EVERYONE started jumping on the bandwagon and soon there were french elves...
View attachment 120
...and even spanish bull-fighting elves...
View attachment 124
(seen here fighting a prehistoric tauren)
...but no american elves oddly enough. But they might have looked like this had anyone across the pond bothered their arses to invent one..
View attachment 122
*shudders*. Kinda glad they didn't really.
WoW took it too far though. They missed the boat and frankly their elf looks so ridiculous it might as well be an ogre.
So there we have it, the original elves were german.
Through the magical medium that is teh INTERWEB I delved deep into the history of the elves to find out where they came from.
But I delved too deep and awoke an ancient evil. By the light of my monitor in the early hours of the morning the very shadows seemed to grow and close in about me.
I had uncovered a horror of gargantuan proportions.....
View attachment 118
.....the German's invented Elves.
Yep. Fact.
It all makes cruel sense now. Their perfect and efficient forms, their magical powers, being at one with nature, they never fall ill, they're resistant to poisons and fear, they're immortal - in fact, just like a BMW or Merc, they're the perfect design.
JRR Tolkien was quick to see perfection that is the elf and decided that we, the Great British people, needed our own elves. He produced bigger and better elves in the hope that eventually nobody would remember the german elves....
View attachment 119
phwoar!...
...works for me...erm...this one's name was "Lady Yes'thesearereal" from the less well known fourth book in the LotR series...ahem.
Well, after JRR Tolkien's books (about british elves!) sold millions EVERYONE started jumping on the bandwagon and soon there were french elves...
View attachment 120
...and even spanish bull-fighting elves...
View attachment 124
(seen here fighting a prehistoric tauren)
...but no american elves oddly enough. But they might have looked like this had anyone across the pond bothered their arses to invent one..
View attachment 122
*shudders*. Kinda glad they didn't really.
WoW took it too far though. They missed the boat and frankly their elf looks so ridiculous it might as well be an ogre.
So there we have it, the original elves were german.