FormatKing
New member
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2005
- RedCents
- 0¢
Title says it al...
Following situation: The son (S) of the programmer (F) responsible for the horde characters in WoW had discovered that his father was cheating on his mother. The boy told his father that he would tell mother about it, unless the boy would get his own computer and a WoW-Account. But that wasnt all ...
S: If you dont want mama to about about your little affair ... i also want my own Character Class in WoW.
F: Ok, errm, well, fine, you get the Shaman. He's able to fight, can carry shields or a two handed weapon, wear leather armor.
S: Hmm ... leather? No, i want something better! I want mail armor!
F: Hmm Okay, mail armor it is and you can place various Totems aswell.
S: Err ... what do these Totems do?
F: Well, they can heal or make damage or they make your armor stronger and they'll work for your whole group.
S: So, how many do I have?
F: 20 diffrent, bur you can only use one at a time.
S: Two
F: No, One
S: Three
F: You want to piss me off? I said One.
S: Four
F: Get OUT!!
S: Mom?
F: Four is fine ... Cookie?
S: Yeah, and I want to do magic!
F: But you have already a two handed weapon, four totems and ...
S: MOM !?!?
F: ... you can do magic, 1.5 second casts
S: Instant!
F: No, that would be unfair ...
S: INSTANT or else ...
F: Okay ... no problem, instant.
S: So what can the other character classes do?
F: The others? Well, fighting, spell casting, healing ...
S: I want to heal!
F: Good, you can
S: Thanks
F: Now please leave me working and go watch TV or something ...
S: So what can I do if somebody runs away from me?
F: Hmm ... yes ... here, frost shock, now he is slower, and now please ...
S: How long does the frost shock remain?
F: 3 seconds
S: And how often can I cast it?
F: Every 6 seconds
S: And in between?
F: You got to give your enemies at least a little chance ...
S: Maaaaa....
F: Okay .. it lasts 6 seconds.
S: And if I forget to cast?
F: Okay, 12 seconds, and now please ...
S: And I want to be faster much faster - even if they are not freezed....
F: Here, Ghost Wolf ... you can change yourself into a wolf and you'll be much faster
S: Hmm ...
F: What?
S: What if I want to make several people slower?
F: Here ... Earthbind Totem ... and now piss off.
S: And what if somebody hits me?
F: Well, you just fight back, do magic, or ...
S: But I want my enemies to draw damage when they hit me
F: Wait, thats idiotic: Your enemy shall receive damage when he damages you AND when you're damaging him??
S: Exactly
F: K... Lightning Shield, and now PISS OFF!!
S: And what if somebody shoots with a bow at me?
F: Then the Shield also works for Bows and now, please please please leave me alone
S: And what if somebody casts magic $!@% at me?
F: Well, you can fight, do magic yourself, heal ....
S: I want something that eliminates the next incoming cast
F: ...well ... i've just been working on the Totems anyway ... here you have a Grounding Totem
S: And what if he heals himself?
F: Well you cant do anything about that ...
S: Mmmmmmaaaaaa ....
F: Earth Shock, Instant ... anything else?
S: And what if he is buffed? I want also Buffs
F: Here... Wind Fury, should be enough ...
S: But my enemies should not have any buffs ....
F: But you can buff, heal, magic, stop magic, two handed weapons ....
S: I WANT
F: Not in this tone with me!
S: MAAAAMAAAA
F: Purge ... Purge is Good. Well it was designed for Warlocks but okay ... Purge.
S: And if someone is poisoning me?
F: You just use the Poison cleaning totem
S: No
F: Yes
S: NO
F: ... fine ... you get a spell for it
S: And what if I play with party?
F: Actually you dont need to play with others ... you can do everything yourself ...
S: No, I want to be able to ressurect people from death
F: Okay ... you can
S: And if I die myself?
F: Well somebody else must revive you ...
S: No, I want to do that myself aswell
F: Err... but you're dead!!
S: I WANT !!!!
F: Ok ... you can resurrect yourself when you're dead.
S: I want something else ...
F: Underwater breathing is still available
S: Okay, but something is still missing ...
F: YOU CAN USE TWO-HANDED WEAPONS, WEAR MAIL ARMOR, CARRY SHIELDS, CAST
MAGIC STUFF, PREVENT MAGIC STUFF FROM OTHERS, HEAL, INSTANT CASTS,
TOTEMS, DEBUFF ENEMIES, CHANGE YOURSELF INTO A WOLF, FREEZE ENEMIES,
BREATHE UNDERWATER, RESURRECT YOURSELF AND OTHERS - SO WHAT THE !&$% YOU
WANT ELSE - PREACHING AND WALKING ON WATER !?!???!??!!??!
S: Well, certainly not preaching
The following events are a Warrior talking to a GM about a Shaman he found that he thought was using hacks, The Warrior will be reffered to as WR and the GM...GM..>) (Not Real)
WR: Id like to file a report on a shaman using hacks.
GM: Certainly tell me his name and what happened.
WR: Well his name is OvErPoWaReD and this is what happened, I see this guy mining some stuff so I decide to leave him alone, Then he lighting bolts me, Then when im running at him this is when the first hack comes into play, GET THIS, he uses his frost shock move that has a 50% slowing speed FOR EIGHT SECONDS!
GM: No, that's not a hack. That's the correct time.
WR:...But isn't the cooldown six seconds?
GM: Correct.
WR: Wait a min...nevermind anywho after he kites me with this for awhile I finally resist one and come in for some melee (Keep in mind im at half health from the shocks) I expect this wimp caster to pull out ya know like a staff or dagger...What does he whip out? A frickin Arcanite Reaper!
GM:Yep shamans can use 2h axes and 2h Maces...
WR:...Really?
GM: Ya rly.
WR:uhh..ok then but HERE IS A DEFINITE HACK. While I was fighting him in melee, Im getting struck with 300 plus damage every time I swing! Then he's throwing in hits that come in 3 swings a flash and each hit a higher number than the last!
GM: That would be his lightning shield and his windfury.
WR: Woah, Isn't that kinda cheap?
GM: I don't program the shaman sir, but please continue.
WR: Well by this point I have to hamstring him and go back to use a runecloth bandage for a heal bringing me back up to 75%, Then when im about to reingage a rouge comes up from behind him and starts killing him, when he starts fighting the rouge, I rejoin the attack, after awhile we kill him... the rouge hearthed and as I was walking away not more than eight seconds after we killed him HE POPS BACK UP LIKE A NINJA ZOMBIE then casts an insta heal for 1700 health!
GM: That would be his natures swiftness and his resurrection ability.
WR: Oh cmon! What the hell is this!
GM: The shaman...but please continue.
WR: Well then he starts setting down totems and I thought "Phew ill just destroy these little things with a thunder clap" I thunder clap, none of em go down! Definite Hack, Correct?
GM: Yep.
WR: Really?
GM: Nope just kidding, Totems arent affected by AOE attacks.
WR: For the love of Prickly Pete!
WR: Well after that a friendly druid ran by gave me some buffs and went on his way, then right as im about to reingage, he makes all the buffs go away!
GM: Yeah, that's his purge ability...
WR: Holy crap.
GM: Tell me about it.
WR: Did I mention this whole fight took place in the water, and he was walking on it?
GM: They can do that.
WR: o.0
A great alliance guild thougth it was abou time to raid ogrimar.
60 ppl went to do it.
AS they approach ogr. they see a shaman on a cliff. Alone. The leader said "hey, 2 guys, go gank that sone of a..." 2 from the guild went towards the shaman.
The shaman walked back down behind the cliff.. easily.
After 1 min, the shaman appears on the cliff again, alone. Arrrrghhhh... !
The guild leader said "damn, 10 guys go kill that SF thing"
10 guild members went for the shaman while the shaman was walking back down behind the cliff.
After 2 minutes, the shaman appears on the cliff again, alone. Arrrrghhhh... !
The guild leader said "unbelievable! all here go kill that damn horde!!!! NOW!"
All hurryed towards the shaman that was walking backwards behind the cliff.
After 10 minutes of fighting sounds, arms flying, heads rolling, 2 guild members more dead than alive finnaly got to their leader
"sir, was a trap. they were 2"
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