LF Job (1 Viewer)

[imported_tribute]

Ok so my 12 month contract finishes in 2 weeks and apparently it can't be renewed (apparently all I do is browse WoW sites, which is crap because I also go to Warhammer for updates and myspace is on high rotation too.)
So if anybody lives in Melbourne and had a position available for a (almost) qualified Journalist with a Cert III in Business Admin, let me know!
I'm rarely on time (unless my PUG 5 man goes exceptionally smoothly) and have a tendency to take a large amount of smoke breaks (even though I'm currently not smoking except on the w/e)
So hit me up!

P.S. Hey at least I'm honest!

 

[chandizzle]

URGENT BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP NEEDED:

Hello, I am an oil heir with 50 BAJILLION (you heard me) of the nigerian currency, bright red sea shells. Thats about 2 and a half american. I'd like you to set up a bank account where I can then divert more of my father's funds, to pay for airshipping the shells and setting up an empire in the US. All I need is your PIN number, the numbers of any credit cards you may have (including the Victoria's Secret rewards one we all know you have) and the names of including, but not limited to three of your goldfish. In return, I will offer you 400 star wars figurines that are now worthless due to the choking recall. I urge you to comply, or as they say in my language, "click-click slightly louder click then a slightly quieter clock".

 

[Lesson25]

Ok so my 12 month contract finishes in 2 weeks and apparently it can't be renewed (apparently all I do is browse WoW sites, which is crap because I also go to Warhammer for updates and myspace is on high rotation too.)
So if anybody lives in Melbourne and had a position available for a (almost) qualified Journalist with a Cert III in Business Admin, let me know!
I'm rarely on time (unless my PUG 5 man goes exceptionally smoothly) and have a tendency to take a large amount of smoke breaks (even though I'm currently not smoking except on the w/e)
So hit me up!

Except for the "rarely on time" bit, you sound like the perfect candidate for a government job.

 

[imported_tribute]

Except for the "rarely on time" bit, you sound like the perfect candidate for a government job.

The funny thing is, my current job IS a government job, and yet I'm my bosses biatch (and the only 1 under her so I get 100% attention, lucky me) so while all the other lazy shits around me twiddle their thumbs and do FA they at least have their jobs indefinately, not fair, I like being a lazy shit (and she makes me work)...

 

[mven]

You should seek a career in network administration.

 

[Ouroboros]

You should seek a career in network administration.

I would have to second this. I'm a Network Admin for an international company, with 23 servers and 64 users under my control. mwahahahaha Where was I....

Oh yeah, Network Admin has to be one of the easiest gigs on the planet. Don't get me wrong, when things go wrong and :shitfan:, it's all about fault tolerance and getting things back up to snuff. But the rest of the time, I find myself surfing the web, sending funny vid clips to my Supervisor, playing with the newest technology on the market, and spending my department's hard-earned annual budget.

Did I mention surf the web? I currently have two 20.1" monitors that I use to pay attention to server/bandwidth levels, RAS into the servers, and surf the web. I have 4 browsers open, each with about 4 tabs each, housing the varitable forums/websites that I visit on a daily basis.

If you want to be lazy and get paid to work about 1/4 of the year, Network Admin is definately the way to go.

 

[colekutz]

We certainly would steer the lazy AWAY form the profession of owning a bakery and shop of confections.

If it is sweetened treats that you love and to see many smile and wish you good tidings perhaps a bakery is your perfect store to create!

 

[imported_tribute]

What qualifications would one need to aquire in order to attain such a perfect role as that of the "network administrator"?

 

[Ouroboros]

What qualifications would one need to aquire in order to attain such a perfect role as that of the "network administrator"?

For myself, I sort of lucked into the position. I have about 13 years of 'life experience' with computers (as in i have been building computers, breaking them, watching them melt down, etc), have my A+ and Network+ certs (working on my MCSE), and knew everyone in the MIS department of my office. The person that was leaving and I were on good terms as was her Super and I, and so I tossed my card into the hat and they snatched me up.

Having a good understanding how hardware works, how servers work, a basic understanding of what routers/hubs/bridges/switches do, enough understanding of how subnet masking works, along with the OSI model, and how to explain things on the geek level and layman level to the appropriate parties you are in discussion with should be a good start. Also have a good grasp on business OS's, such as Win/Linux/Unix/Novell.

Other than that, just have the ability to learn when/why things go wrong and be able to apply that knowledge the next time around and you should be on your way to paid lazy bliss.

 

[Unregistard]

To be a network admin, you pretty much just need to be agressive and condescending enough that no one dares to ask you just what the hell it is you actually DO all day.

It helps to know a couple of "techy-sounding" buzzwords and to look sufficiently nerdy that pplz assume you know about computers and stuff.

pms

 

[Deafdumbandblind]

Yeh here are some good ones and their meanings (in case someone checks up on you):

BIOS - when you don't like foreigners or gay ppl
Protocol - a process for getting rid of the above
Hard Drive - heavy traffic on the way to work
RAM - duh! a male goat
ROM - capital of Italy
Bus - (jeez these are easy!) A form of public transport
Address - where you live
PSU - Used to be Russia before the Commies got kicked out
Floppy drive - (used to have a lot of these but not anymore) Drunk driving

That's all I can remember but then again I'm not a nerd. Maybe Rip can add some more.

 

[Ouroboros]

Yeh here are some good ones and their meanings (in case someone checks up on you):

BIOS - when you don't like foreigners or gay ppl
Protocol - a process for getting rid of the above
Hard Drive - heavy traffic on the way to work
RAM - duh! a male goat
ROM - capital of Italy
Bus - (jeez these are easy!) A form of public transport
Address - where you live
PSU - Used to be Russia before the Commies got kicked out
Floppy drive - (used to have a lot of these but not anymore) Drunk driving

That's all I can remember but then again I'm not a nerd. Maybe Rip can add some more.

hmmmm...yes, that's good advice too. Definately want to brush up on the vocab to make sure you can address all the PEBCAKs that might arise.

 

[mven]

I don't deal with PEBCAKs. That is what our helpdesk is for.