You can do a few different things:
1. Use a the regular login server, but lock your world and give your friends high enough access level to login with the world locked.
2. Use mini-login and modify the interfaces and ports to listen externally, be advised you will need to enter your friends accounts (and possibly IPs? its been a long time since ive messed with Emu) into your MySQL database in the minilogin table.
The problem you will run into trying to do your own login server, is that the EQEmu team has not released the code yet for theirs. This is because they wanted to keep all of the servers centralized, however, the mini-login can be used to accomplish this (but its a pain). My personal suggestion is to change access level on your friends accounts (in MySQL - GM's), and lock the world. It looks like the EQEmulator.net site is down at the moment, or I would link to some articles, just search for minilogin on their forums.
Disclaimer: I have not messed with EQEmu in over a year, however I used to host two servers, so as far as I know this information is correct. Sorry if I'm steering you wrong =)
