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The Newbie's Guide to EverQuest (1 Viewer)

Cade

The Rainman, (Administrator)
Joined
Feb 28, 2005
RedCents
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[background=#aaaaaa]Getting started playing Everquest is quite a difficult task. Not only does a newbie have to learn the language, slang, and jargon of the game, but the player also has to learn how to adjust to the gameplay style and rules. In order to help everybody get accustomed to the game, I have addressed the most important concerns and issues that newbies have to deal with, and combined them all into one easy-to-follow article. Yes, within minutes you'll be acting like an experienced veteran in the lands of Norrath! [/background]

Character Creation:
  • A name is the most important aspect of your character. Make sure to choose a title that effectively "roleplays" your character's personality. For example, here's how to make a name for a Druid character: this class is very close to nature, and likes trees and the woods and various biodegradable things. Create a name that combines a stupid nature reference in category A with a misspelled verb in category B.

[background=#aaaaaa]

Category A: stupid nature references.
  • Moon
  • Sun
  • Tree
  • Leaf
  • Mist
  • Wolf
  • Star

    Category B: misspelled verbs.
  • Wynd
  • ammer
  • Gater
  • Skymmer
  • Waker
  • Swepper
  • Skypper
[/background]

Optimal name combinations include "Moonskymmer", "Mistwalker", "Sunsweeper", and "Wolfwalker".
  • If you're one of the many 12-year olds who enjoy playing as a Necromancer, be sure to name yourself after your favorite cartoon character.
  • When choosing a name, try to use the letters "a", "e", and "h" as much as possible. Feel free to take your name and "roleplayify" it. For example, "Jason" turns into "Jahsaen", "Steve" can become "Staevah", and "Rob" is easily "Raehbeaahhea'aeah".
  • Warriors should all be named after a particularly violent action or verb. "Smasher", "Breaker", "Crusher", and "Basher" are all valid names. If you're playing as an Ogre Warrior, misspell the word as well (ie, "Smashur", "Breakur", "Crushar", "Bashur").
  • Since casting classes already start with a bonus in the INT and WIS categories, dump all your points into STR or STA. By doing this, you will create a caster who can not only throw around killer spells, but also whoop ass with weapons, the best of both worlds!
  • Remember: if you're a male, you can only play as a male character! If Sony finds out you're a male playing as a female, they will take away your account. This is so people can form deep and meaningful relationships while grouping, and eventually marry them on the server. Since this rule is in place, you can be 100 percent sure that every woman on the server is actually a woman who you should befriend, in the hopes of getting her phone number and having cybersex with her over your favorite AOL chat channel.
Socials:
  • The "shout" channel is solely used to announce when you've gone up a level*. You should do this by typing "/shout DING! Level x!!!" where "x" is the level you just reached. People who don't know you are very concerned with what level you are, and you should always inform them of what level you just reached.

    You should always "/shout Ding lvl 1!" as soon as you enter the game. If there is no one in your zone, be sure to go to Plane of Knowledge before doing so.

    *Advanced newbies only: you can use the /shout channel to inform people when you've lost a level as well. Be sure to complain about lag when doing so and make a sarcastic comment along the lines of "Gee, thanks Sony for making such a WONDERFUL game!".

  • If you experience lag, you should "/shout LAGGGGGG!", which will inform and warn all other characters. If the lag continues, you should "/shout This is ridiculous! I can't play with all this lag!" but you should continue to keep playing at all costs (very important). Proceed to periodically warn everybody of the lag every two minutes, and refuse to log out for the next six hours.
  • The /ooc (out of character) channel is used to ask what the function or purpose of every single item in the game is. Don't know what to do with those fire beetle eyes? Ask everybody on /ooc! Don't know what the stats are on that rusty scimitar? Chances are that somebody on /ooc will!
  • If you just logged in and are part of a super-k3wl guild, you should announce your presence over the /shout channel. Make sure your guild has a hilarious and witty greeting! For example, if your guild's name is the "Clan of the White Wolf", announce yourself by shouting "Hail Clan of the White Wolf! HOOOOOWWWWWWLLLL!" at which point all other guild members should respond with "HOOOOWWWWLLLLLL!" This will set your guild apart from the other, more inferior guilds, by demonstrating how organized and important your guild obviously is.
  • To make it easier for you, type in all acronyms. For example, if you need help in the Field of Bone, type "/shout NH FOB". If you're looking for an NPC merchant who you aren't Kill-on-sight to, type "/shout LF NPC M NotKOS". If you're looking for directions to the freeport stone so you can go to Freeport in order to buy a Dragoon Dirk from a High Elf Cleric, type "/shout LF DirTO S4FP, NTB DD FromHEC".
  • Grouping is an important aspect of playing Everquest. If you'd like to group with somebody, find a person who's at least 20 levels higher to you (that way it'll be easier to gain experience in the group). Walk up to him, don't say anything, click on him and hit the "Invite" button to invite him to your group. If he doesn't respond or declines your offer, keep inviting him (he's just playing hard to get). Follow him around, repeatedly inviting him. If he doesn't accept your offer within the next 50 minutes, challenge him to a duel for being such an incredible jerk.
  • If you've got a magical weapon that you're trying to sell, start the bidding at a high price and work your way down. Did your friend get you a rare rusty dagger? Try selling it for 1000 plat and just wait for the bids to come flowing in! If nobody has the money to spend, try lowering your price to something more reasonable, such as 700 plat and a set of Grandmaster's Armor.
  • If you see a female character who needs help in combat, be sure to help her out at once! After you've saved her life, give her as many buffs and magical items as you can. If you do, she'll be incredibly attracted to you and will undoubtedly want to have sex with you in real life. As mentioned before, all people playing as female characters are really women in real life. If you see a guy who needs help, let him die, because he's probably just some gay weirdo who will stalk you or something afterwards.
  • Always remember: Everquest is a SOCIAL game! /Shout every single thought that comes to your mind, no matter how inane! Announce how much wieght you're carrying! Tell the world what level you are in swimming! Say "hi" to friends and guild members! Ask what time it is! Don't hold back!

    Fighting:
  • If you've hit a new level and just got some brand new spells, immediately try them out on some creatures that con yellow or red to you. The spells are undoubtedly way more powerful than anything you've dealt with previously, and you're sure to kill anything in a few blasts! If it ends up killing you, it's because Sony obviously doesn't know jack shit about "balancing the game".
  • If fighting in a group, the sole function of everybody else in that group is to keep you from dying. Remind them of this repeatedly, and if you ever get below 85% health, start shouting that you need heals.
  • Instead of concentrating all damage on one creature, try to attack everything around you. You'll weaken them all down and just rake in the exp. with your killing spree! This goes well with our next point:
  • Area-effect spells are the best type of spells in the game. Use them at every chance!
  • Before going into combat, ask every single person in your zone for a SoW, regardless of their race or class. Since they have undoubtedly already cast Sow on themselves, and can run much faster than you, demand they come to you and cast it. If nobody responds, "/shout Sow plz!!!!!!" until you log off. Resume shouting next time you log back on. Once you get somebody to cast SoW on you, start shouting for another SoW, because it just might make you even faster.
  • When losing in combat, be sure to "/shout HELP". This is the quickest way to elicit a response from fellow characters, and hoards of GMs should rush over to your aid within seconds. If nobody responds, bind a key to "/shout HELP" and keep pressing it until you die. If you die, be sure to blame everybody in the zone for refusing to help you because they're obviously idiots.

    Death / dying:
  • If you die, complain nonstop about how "Sony nerfed your spells" or about how "things were a LOT better before the last patch!" or how "Sony screwed your class over SO BAD."
  • Once you respawn, make sure to "/shout Anybdy c my corpse" over and over. Sony employs a team of hundreds of people to solely run around the servers, looking for and noting the location of every player's corpse. You'll have an exact location within seconds.
  • If you die while fighting in a group, blame every other member of the group. Complain to the Clerics for not healing you enough, bitch at the tanks for not taunting more effectively, and whine to everybody for agreeing to let a Bard in. This relates to the next point:
  • Death is NEVER your fault. Death is either the fault of your combat group, Sony, Internet connection, your neighbors, computer speed, your mouse, weapon / class imbalances, the alignment of the stars, Hurricane Katrina, the color of your walls, or the decline stocks market.
  • If you are killed by something that cons blue to you, it's obviously a bug on Sony's part. Petition it immediately, demanding you are given all your experience back ASAP. Oh, and an extra 150 platinum for your inconvenience.
  • Once you die, "/shout plz help!!!!! lost all my stuff to orc!!!!!!" and wait for those level 70 people to start showering you with platinum and weapons. Remember: everybody else playing EQ is there to help you!

Miscellaneous:
  • Thanks to some serious twinking by your high level buddies in the "Eternal Warriors of N'Yarthamgon'as" guild, you can safely solo red monsters. Find something red, then "/shout WHAT LVL ARE X?" where X = the red creature's name. If nobody responds, make sure to petition the GMs and complain about how rude everybody is. Or complain about virtually anything, just make sure to use the /bug command to say something.
  • There's lots of people who want to group with a level one character. When you first start up your player, immediately let everybody know you're a hot commodity and are on the market to group with a very lucky collection of people. Don't worry about spelling all the words correctly, they'll understand what you mean.
  • When posting on Everquest-related messageboards, make sure you have a 100k plus animated gif sig file of your character's name. The more Photoshop plugins you use, the more elite it looks.
 
awesome...i've always known there was a guide for those people...now we know it's because of you Cade...you are my Hero!!!
 
omfg i read almost all of it..

man i must be REAL bored


WAIT .. cade you musta been even more bored.... since you wrote it...

Go write a plugin

8-)
 
This belongs in the private member forums because it's so uber l33t. We don't want to give such precious informations away for free!
 
Awww you ruined it :( I wanted to see who would read the title, ignoring the content completely, and seriously say this should be in the subscriber section.
 
I read the whole thing. And was bored again. I think my favorite part is the druid names.
 
actually I wasnt going to read it until I saw some replies and wondered what was going on ;)
 
Boswell said:
actually I wasnt going to read it until I saw some replies and wondered what was going on ;)

ME EITHER daggit i hate reading make it like a video or something :cool:
 
The Newbie's Guide to EverQuest

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